Who am I is a question that I think alot of people ask themselves. Human curiosity has always been the driving force that seeks the answer to the question. Many define themselves by the religion they believe in or by the work they do. Myself, it’s a passionate and complex question that seems to raise more questions than answers. Religion doesn’t define my character because I don’t believe in organized religion. Work doesn’t define me because like so many others I work to live and not live to work. The answer I seek lies in the fabric of time that has brought me to the present.
The only reason why I am here writing this blog is because of the sequence of events thats occured over the span of millions of years. I’m not trying to define my character, but I am trying to understand from an evolutionary stand point why i’m here.
Religion has never played an influential role in my development. As a wee one I was forced to accept the philosophy of Catholicism. Every sunday my mother, brother and I all went to mass, sometimes we attended the 09:30 or 11am mass, but I always felt out of place. Every wednesday my brother and I would board the putrid green bus that pumped out vast clouds of black exhaust that took us to the St. Rose of Lima catholic church so we could absorb and live the words of the bible. I always felt like an outcast when we attended the weekly class or sunday mass. I used to think something was wrong with me because everyone else understood the meaning of faith and the power of God, but I never did. While we attended mass my father would stay home. I think he pushed us out the door just so he could have some down time. Regardless for reasons beyond me, I could never understand how people could have complete blind faith in a mythilogical diety?
As I got older, into my teens, I wasn’t forced to go as much. My mom realized just how much I didn’t enjoy going, but it wasn’t just that, she knew I just didn’t believe. Whenever we would read scripture the only thing that would cross my mind was how could people believe in a book that has been written and rewritten over and over and was based on hearsay spanning the course of hundreds of years. What the bible meant to me was that it was the basis of wars and the division of society. I knew from my history classes that the clergy of men who were priests from the time jesus was crucified through the midieval time periods were men who portrayed traits of satan and not god. I believed that the people who were self proclaimed servants of god used the bible for money, greed and power. Most people all the way through the 1800’s were illeterate and just common farmers, blacksmiths and servants. Only the rich could afford an education, with an education they made more money, more money meant higher standings within the church and a higher standing with the church meant you could treat poor people like filth and scum because money brought you closer to god. Who knows how many people died because of accusations of herecy and were slaughtered because of a belief in other dieties. My point is that the church in my mind represented the icon of humanities dark side.
As I grew older I began to form my own ideas of religion, but I realized that religion wasn’t the answer. As I began to study other religions I began to see a common theme amongst all of them. It may have been a different god and different beliefs but the common values were the same. Each had its own ideas for how to live a good life. People have always been afraid of death and religion gave people the pseudo feeling of entitlement to the planet and the after life, but even though the religions of the world have a common theme the one thing they all share that can be physically manifested is WAR!
How can something that teaches you to be a better person lead to such carnage and destruction. Easy, when one believes strongly in theyre religion – everyone else is below them. In some ways religion was the birth of racism. It seems like different nationalities and colors of skin was the foundation of every religion. Therefore I began to believe in biological evolution and the natural order of selection, but it didn’t stop there. Evolution still raised more unanswered questions.
TO BE CONTINUED…